trick or treat.

hi guys, it's me gene. here i am halloween-ing it up last night. and i'm not trying to brag and stuff.. no actually i am. my costume was AMAZING. i really did it up this year. now i will display in pictures me doing it up.

so there it is. gene simmons was a great success. i would like to thank beverlyheels.com for supplying me with the best tranny shoes a girl could ever ask for, morgan schweitzer for the amazing artistic-ness he covered my face with and mac makeup wipes for being able to take it all off. and also, all of my fans. because for real, last night i had so many.

famous.

ok, i'm sure you all already know about this because you've most likely already picked up your 2010 toy and miniature poodle calendar BUT on the rare chance that you haven't, let me share the big exciting news with you.

it seems a member of my very own family is miss january! that's right. please direct your eyes to the top left corner of the second picture below which i have conveniently circled for you in neon green to see little scooby and max, my granma's dog, putting on their fiercest america's next top model faces.

i'm very proud of the little cuties but to be honest, they're looking a litttttleee bit stiff. you're miss january, boys!! loosen up!! roll around a little! and that cover girl?? she's looking a bit proper to have made the front spot, don't you think? that blue collar is totally washing her out! give the girl some bling!! this is the COVER for toy & miniature poodles 2010.

really, i'm only criticizing because i'm jealous. i wanted to be little miss poodle 2010. BUT. this isn't about me. this is about scooby. so congratulations, babe. don't let all this newfound fame go to your fluffy little head.

the saddest story ever told.

sooo last night i was planning on going out but i decided to take a quick little power nap around 8:30 so i would be really energized and awake for a night on the town. flash forward to 3:04 AM when i am still tucked soundly into my comfy bed (seriously, STILL?? did somebody drug me??) when i was awoken by a text from my friend maxx. "lady gaga was at sway. she sang a song."

first of all. friends don't text friends about a secret surprise appearance and song by lady gaga AFTER the fact. friends CALL friends the second gaga enters the room so that the friend who is "napping" and OBSESSED with gaga can jump out of bed and into a cab. after she applies a little eyeliner. obviously.

it took me until 6:02 to even return to a peaceful sleep because i had to lay in bed tormented for three hours by the fact that ummm why was i SLEEPING when gaga was just like ohhh hey ok i'll go to the bar oh yeah i guess i'll sing. la la la paparazziiiii. well really, that's not entirely true. for about an hour, i stressed about the fact that i missed the gaga sing-a-long. for two hours, i stressed about the fact that some of my friends could have been at the bar to enjoy the gaga sing-a-long!! and i knowww that sound's really selfish and stuff but i guess i AM really selfish and stuff. and if i missed gaga, i don't want my friends to be with gaga having fun. i want everyone to be at home and miserable that they missed out on the party too.

and that is all. a quicker text message next time puh-leaseeee. long live lady gaga.

blah blah.

i'm SOOOO excited for halloweeennnn. i think i'm going to have a really good costume this year. i've been planning it since last year when i was a real idiot too cool for school loser who decided not to do halloween. i know, i know, it's really lame. i had this weird thing where i was like "ewww i don't NEED to dress up for halloween. i dress up every day of the year so tonight i am NOT" really, that's what i said. it was even in a bratty tone of voice like it sounds and i am SO sorry for that temporary little slip of judgment. basically, i sulked in sequins while everyone else dressed like bananas and power rangers and kittens and stuff like normal fun halloween respecting people. anywayssss this year i'm going with a better attitude AND i am going to be gene simmons. ta-dah.

alsoooo jen gave me a new baby octopus ring. i don't really know if it's a baby but that makes it sound extra cuteee. (awwwww) see below in the smallest tiniest worst picture to show off my new blingaring. (omg was that kind of a really good new word!?? webster, where are you? i have good material here!!) anyways, ladies and gentlemen, my ring.

ANDDD i wore my bikini t-shirt in real life and not just like on a photo-shoot for my blog. (ooo that sound's uncool) anyways, it was a hit.

and for the grand finale, here's pictures of me and lea doing photobooth on my mac. i know i should be over it by now but i'm not. 4 pictures in 4 seconds?? that's so cool!!!

k bye goodnight.

it's a party in the usaaaaa.

narcissism.

i just discovered that i can do that fun little four pictures in five seconds thing on my computer. i always thought it was a fancy setting that people with special new macs that haven't been dropped on the floor 18 times have, but apparently i have it too. cool!

i have some little stories and things to tell but right now on the tyra show, people are talking about home plastic surgeries gone wrong and OH MY GOD this is quality, quality television. 2 girls had an unlicensed doctor inject 20 shots of who knowsss what into their butts to make them look like j.lo but instead they went to the hospital and now they can't sit down for the rest of their lives. no wonder this show won an emmy. 

also, i think i'm going to try to wear polka dots everyday starting now. goodnight moon.

first position...

today, my ipod died on the subway so i did ballerina poses to entertain myself for the other four stops that i had to ride music-less. not pirouettes or anything fancy like that (i wish) but just your basic first position, second position, third position type stuff. also, i used the subway pole to balance so i could see if i could get up on my toes. (i could) (sort of) 

so anyways, i'm being a ballerina and stuff in first position which btw i'm incredible at and a man pointed at me and said "ballerina?" anddd naturally i said yes. i mean i know it's a lie but what kind of ass stands on the subway doing ballerina poses when they're NOT a ballerina? 

in other news, i'm scared i'm turning crazy. i've developed all these bizarro fears and paranoias that are ridiculous. i'm seriousss, if i keep going down this route, i'm going to turn out to be one of those old ladies that tells you not to make funny faces because your face will stay like that. you know the type.

first of all, i'm scared of my apartment. i'm scared of my fire escape because i feel like someone can climb up the fire escape and kidnap me and i'm scared of our first floor big windows because they are huge and high up and i'm scared of falling out. BUT to make myself seem even crazier, i don't have these as 2 separate fears. what i'm ACTUALLY scared about is that somebody is going to climb up my fire escape, carry me to the first floor, and throw me out the window. see? (crazy)

ALSO. i'm scared of the subway stations. i'm almost positive that i am going to fall down the stairs and knock my teeth out. omg i'm one of those moms!! the ones that tell their kids not to run on the stairs but it's WORSE because it's ME telling me. i have gone insane. i'm almost positive that one day i am going to be walking down the stairs to catch the train and someone is going to come running behind me, i'll go flying forward and BAM my teeth are out. the other day, i actually covered my mouth while walking to catch the train so as to prevent the inevitable teeth knock out

basically, i'm a paranoid freak. 

but i'm also a ballerina so whatevaaaa.